Gottman Method

The Gottman Method is based on extensive research by John and Julie Gottman that shows it is not anger in itself that best predicts separation, but four forms of negativity they call “the four horsemen of the Apocalypse.” These are criticism (particularly the kind that attacks a spouse for who they are), defensiveness and denying responsibility, contempt (insulting behaviour), and stonewalling (unwillingness to engage). When not addressed, the Gottman’s tell us these problems can turn into a cascade of distance and isolation. The Gottman method takes clients on a seven-level relationship-building journey that includes sharing fondness and admiration, managing conflict, and creating shared meaning in life. We build a “sound relationship house” infused at all levels with trust-building behaviours that strengthen safe connection.